Contact with family and kin
Most children and young people in care will have some sort of time with their parents, brothers and sisters, grandparents, other family members or close friends. This can be called ‘contact’ or ‘time with family and kin’. Contact can involve planned face-to-face visits, telephone conversations, email messages, social media connections and exchanging letters, gifts or photos. Your agency will generally cover the costs associated with maintaining contact.
What to do if time with family or kin is difficult
Sometimes family time can be difficult for carers. There may be conflict about the amount of time required for contact, or the behaviour of the child before or after any family time. Ask your caseworker for help if you have concerns or are worried about the child or young person’s behaviour. Your caseworker may also be able to arrange training to help you better manage family interactions.
It’s important to raise any serious concerns with your caseworker as soon as possible. If your caseworker is unavailable and you suspect the child or young person is at risk of being neglected or physically, sexually or emotionally abused, you should call the Child Protection Helpline on 132 111.
What to do when parents are under the influence of drugs or alcohol
Dealing with a parent under the influence of drugs or alcohol can be hard for carers and children. You may feel angry towards the parent for not being able to stay clean for a brief visit with their children. The child or young person may feel rejected and blame themselves for their parent using drugs or alcohol. It’s important to reassure them that they’re not responsible for their parent’s drug and alcohol use.
If a parent arrives at your home under the influence of drugs or alcohol, remain calm and use a gentle tone of voice when talking to them. Don’t criticise them or try to have a long conversation. If they become aggressive, call the police.
If you’re a relative or kinship carer managing contact and dealing with this type of situation, it may be helpful to set up some ground rules with parents. For example, the parent doesn’t go to your house when they’re under the influence of drugs and alcohol. Ground rules can help to reduce risk to the child or young person even if the parent doesn’t always stick to them.
Time with family supervised by Department of Communities and Justice (DCJ) will be cancelled if a parent arrives under the influence of drugs or alcohol. Carers who are involved in supporting family time are encouraged to do the same.
Always check with your agency about their policies or views if you have any questions or concerns.