Bullying and racism

If the child or young person in your care is being bullied or they’re displaying bullying behaviour, it needs to be taken seriously. Bullying can take many forms including name-calling, teasing, insults, humiliation, sarcasm, threats, pushing, shoving, kicking, hitting, punching, tripping, spitting, taking or damaging possessions, ignoring, excluding, ganging up, making gestures, spreading rumours, malicious emails, text messages, phone calls, photos and postings on social media.

What to do when the child in your care is being bullied

Victims of bullying are often afraid to talk about it because they’re scared and think that talking will make things worse. Signs of being bullied may include:

• not wanting to go to school and using excuses such as feeling sick
• refusing to go to school
• talking about hating school
• increased fearfulness, anxiety, tearfulness or depression
• missing or damaged belongings, including torn clothing
• unexplained cuts, bruises or scratches
• lack of friends
• not doing well at school
• asking for or stealing money (to hand over to bullies)
• trouble sleeping.

If you suspect your child or young person is being bullied, approach the issue sensitively. Don’t try to make them admit it and avoid using ‘why’ questions. Ask about what’s making them feel this way. Usually they’ll hint about what’s happening without giving specific details. Calmly listen to them and take their feelings seriously. Ask what they’ve tried and offer to help them work out some strategies for dealing with the situation.

It’s important your child knows that telling you was the right thing to do and being bullied is not their fault. Keep a written record of what happened including when, where, who was involved and if anyone else saw it. Work together to come up with some coping strategies, such as taking a different way home, staying with a group or changing their mobile phone number.

If the bullying continues, talk to your child’s teacher and school counsellor about how you can work together to prevent it from happening. If nothing changes, speak to the principal about the school’s anti-bullying plan and how the school intends to respond. Keep in contact with the school until the bullying is sorted out. Talk to your caseworker if this is an ongoing problem or you need extra support.

What to do when the child in your care is bullying others

Children and young people may bully others for a number of different of reasons. They may feel powerful, enjoy getting attention and think it makes them popular with peers. They may believe everyone does it and that it’s acceptable fun. They may do it as a way of getting things they want, such as money or food, or because they feel angry or jealous. Or they may do it to protect themselves from being bullied.

If the child or young person in your care is bullying others at school, tell them clearly this kind of behaviour is not okay. Keep calm and listen to their point of view. Discuss the impact of their behaviour on the person they have bullied. Sit down and explain the consequences of their actions, for example, no computer games for a week. Be aware of, and restrict, activities or situations that may be influencing their behaviour, such as violent video games and movies or being around adults who are modelling bullying behaviour.

Talk to the teacher and school counsellor to find out how you can work with the school to prevent the behaviour. If the bullying continues, talk to your caseworker.

Racism is any attitude or behaviour that assumes someone is inferior because of their skin colour or race. It can take many forms from jokes or comments that cause offence (perhaps unintentionally) to harassment and intimidation or physical abuse and violence.

Racism can directly or indirectly exclude people from accessing services or taking part in employment, education, sport and social activities. It can also occur at a systemic or institutional level through policies, conditions or practices that disadvantage certain groups.

What is racial bullying?

Racial bullying, or harassment, is when someone is subjected to verbal, physical or emotional abuse, in person or online, because of their race or skin colour. For children and young people, racial bullying at school could be their most common experience of racism.

What is racial discrimination?

Racial discrimination is when a person is treated less favourably than another person in a similar situation because of their race, colour, descent, national or ethnic origin or immigration status.

Sometimes, the discrimination involves treating people differently in an obvious way, for example,a bus or taxi driver might refuse to take a passenger because of their racial background or skin colour. This is called ‘direct discrimination’.

Sometimes the discrimination comes from a rule or policy that is the same for everyone, but has an unfair effect on people of a particular race, colour, religion or origin. For example, if a sports club has a rule that headwear is not allowed on the field, this could unfairly affect people from some racial or ethnic backgrounds. This is called ‘indirect discrimination’.

Recognising racism

The child or young person in your care may be experiencing racism if either adults or children:

• refuse to play with or sit next to them
• exclude them from social groups
• make fun of their clothes, food or appearance
• ridicule or mimic their accents or gestures
• write graffiti or use derogatory language directed against their family or cultural group
• make stereotypical statements
• make assumptions about their abilities based on their cultural background
• witness racist behaviour and allow it to go unchallenged
• do not respond to complaints of racism
• anglicise their name whether they like it or not
• force them to take part in activities that go against their cultural or religious beliefs
• do not allow them to speak their birth language
• hand out more severe forms of discipline, favouring children from their own cultural background
• use intimidating behaviour, such as stealing, damaging personal property, taunting and stalking, because the child or young person is seen as being different
• pick fights or physically assault them because of their cultural background.

When a child or young person suffers because of racism, discrimination or bullying they can feel angry, isolated and powerless.

As a carer, you can develop strategies for dealing with racism before it happens, so that both you and the child or young person in your care can manage it better and prevent it getting out of control. If racism occurs, be assertive and challenge the behaviour, or report it if necessary.

These are some strategies for dealing with racism at home, at school and in the community. If the child or young person is ever threatened, stalked or physically assaulted anywhere, including school, immediately make a report to the police and inform your caseworker. If you are unsure about what to do, or the child or young person is traumatised, contact your caseworker for support.

Tackling racism at home

• Encourage and value diversity and foster a sense of cultural pride.
• Make it known that racism is against the law, is unacceptable and no one deserves to be treated disrespectfully.
• Discuss racism and encourage conversation about its effects and impacts.
• Lead by example – don’t make racist slurs or jokes about other cultures or backgrounds.
• Display zero tolerance for racist behaviour – this will encourage the child or young person to develop positive attitudes, a strong sense of self and positive self-esteem.
• Be supportive, but don’t make promises you can’t keep like, ‘I’m going to make sure this never happens to you again’.

Tackling racism at school

• If kids are threatened or physically assaulted at school, report it to the police and let your caseworker know as soon as possible, in addition to informing the school.
• If there is racist bullying or intimidation going on, encourage them to report it to a teacher, counsellor or student welfare officer.
• Help kids work out ways of dealing with the situation that makes them feel more in control and safe in the short term: for example, taking a different way home or staying with a group of friends.
• Keep a diary of what happened, when it happened, who was involved and who witnessed it.
• Get in touch with the teacher to discuss your concerns and ask what can be done to stop the racial bullying.
• If you don’t feel like you’re getting anywhere, talk to the principal about the school’s policy for dealing with racist bullying and ask what formal steps the school will take to prevent it from happening again.
• Take a support person with you if you find it difficult talking about this with the school.
• Keep in contact with the school until the problem is fixed.
• If it keeps happening, get your caseworker involved in dealing with the school.

Tackling racism outside school

• If you witness racist behaviour towards your child or young person, be assertive and challenge the behaviour by naming what’s happening and telling the person their behaviour isn’t okay, particularly if it’s family or friends who have regular contact with the child or young person.
• If it happens on public transport, report it to the driver or an attendant.
• Make a complaint to the Human Rights Commission if necessary.
• Be aware that the child or young person is watching how you respond so they can learn how to deal with racist behaviour themselves.
• Don’t threaten, intimidate or verbally abuse the bully.
• Listen to the child or young person and take their feelings and fears seriously.
• Let them know it’s not their fault.
• Don’t tell them to just ignore it, call them names like ‘sook’ or make excuses for the behaviour; and don’t let anyone else do so.
• Seek out people who have experienced discrimination firsthand, such as a member of the child or young person’s community, to advise you about ways of dealing with racist behaviour.
• Get support from family and friends.