Getting started

You and your caseworker are partners in care. Together, you create the safe and caring environment that will help your child build confidence, grow strong, and heal from what may have been a traumatic past. Good communication is vital. Your caseworker relies on the information and insights you provide to update plans, arrange referrals and provide support for the mental, physical and emotional wellbeing of the child or young person in your care.

What kids need to know

When a child or young person goes into out-of-home care, their caseworker is responsible for preparing them for their new living arrangements (called a ‘placement’). They do this by:

• giving the child or young person some general information about the home they are going to
• explaining what information you’ll be given about them and their family
• talking about some of your household routines and rules
• providing important contact numbers
• arranging, where possible, some initial contact such as a phone call or meeting with you before they come to stay.

Children and young people say they prefer to have information about a carer, and meet or speak with them and their family, before they move in.

What carers need to know

Your caseworker is responsible for giving you the information you need at the start of the placement. This includes information about the child or young person and their story, the proposed length of the placement and the different sorts of support and training available to you. It will also include important personal details, such as health issues or food preferences.

Early on in the placement you should be given the following documents:

• confirmation of placement
• a copy of the child or young person’s Case Plan
• a copy of the final court orders for the child or young person, or information about the status of any court proceedings
• all relevant reports
• the child’s My Life Story Book
• the child’s Medicare card and personal health record (the Blue Book).

If you’re a Department of Communities and Justice Services (DCJ) carer and the placement is for three months or more, your caseworker will give you a signed copy of the Placement Agreement. This contains specific information about your role, your responsibilities and what needs to be done to provide the child with a standard of care in line with the Code of Conduct.

In a crisis, a child or young person may arrive with just the clothes they’re wearing. Talk to your caseworker if you need help to buy some basic necessities like pyjamas and toiletries. You may be eligible for some financial assistance, such as an Establishment Payment.

Kids’ personal belongings

The personal belongings that a child or young person brings with them to your home may be particularly important to them. This property should be treated with care and respect, including:

• ensuring they have some space of their own to put their belongings
• recognising they have the right to refuse to share their belongings
• insisting that other people living in or visiting your home respect their belongings
• making sure they have proper luggage to carry their belongings when they leave the placement.

Gifts, savings, earnings and any items that are bought for kids while they’re living with you, such as clothing, toys, cots or a special quilt cover, are also their personal property. Please make sure the child or young person takes all of their belongings with them when they change placements, return home or leave care.

There are a few practical things you can do to help a child or young person settle in to your home.

Welcome

When the child or person arrives, reassure them with a warm, gentle welcome. Ask permission before hugging or touching them. If they don’t know what to call you, give them permission to call you by your first name. Introduce them to other members of the household, including pets. Give them a tour of the home and yard. Talk a little about the surroundings so they gain a sense of you and what it’s going to be like living there.

Show them their room and where they can put their belongings. Let them know they can personalise their bedroom. Offer to help them unpack, or let them unpack in their own time.

Show the child around the neighbourhood and take them to places like the park, library, swimming pool and shops so they become familiar with the area. If you have kids of your own, plan an activity that lets them spend some time together.

Food

Ask them if there are certain foods they really like or dislike. Comfort food can help a lot in the first few days. Try to provide some of the child or young person’s favourite foods and let them have a small taste of unfamiliar foods. Don’t be upset if they don’t have great table manners when they first arrive – that’s something to think about down the track.

Sometimes kids will hoard food because food wasn’t regularly available to them in the past. One way to prevent this is to let them keep healthy snacks in a small, lidded container in their bedroom.

Household rules and routines

Talk about your household routine, for example, bath time, bedtime, what snack they might have after school and what time the family eats dinner. Remember to give them time to observe, learn and practise the routine. A reminder chart with pictures can be helpful, especially if the child is involved in making it.

Let them know what the family rules are. Give them tasks to do within their abilities and let them know that you appreciate their help. Notice and praise the little things, such as when they put their clothes away in their room, help clear the table after a meal or remember to say please and thank you.

What it feels like to go into care

A child or young person may come into your home feeling abandoned, helpless, worthless, depressed, anxious, distrustful and even responsible for their family’s break-up. They may appear indifferent or be eager to please, withdrawn, angry or upset. These are all reactions to separation, change and great personal loss. Their sense of loss may be for parents, siblings, friendships, their home, pets, familiar places, routines – all the things that have made up their world and given it meaning.

Be careful not to pry into their past, criticise their parents or make negative comments about them. Don’t talk about them when they’re there as though they’re not present, including in your conversations with your caseworker. Respect their right to privacy and their need to have some time alone.

Helping kids deal with loss and separation

You can help the child or young person in your care begin to deal with their loss and separation by thinking about what they have lost, understanding how it affects their behaviour and allowing them time and space to grieve. You can also:

• listen to them when they want to express their thoughts and feelings
• make them feel comfortable about sharing memories of their family
• don’t feel threatened if they compare what you do with what their parents normally do.

These are the first steps towards bonding with the child in your care.

Children and young people in care have the same right to privacy that any child can reasonably expect of their own parents. Respecting a child’s privacy means they:

• have reasonable privacy using the phone
• can send emails and letters without them being read
• can receive emails and letters without them being opened by someone else
• don’t have their room, pockets or property searched unless there’s reasonable cause to suspect they possess an item that belongs to someone else, or is illegal or potentially dangerous.

When you’re deciding how much privacy to allow the child or young person, think about:

• their age and developmental capacity
• your living arrangements
• whether the child or another person’s safety, welfare and wellbeing are put at risk
• any conditions placed on contact by a court order or the child’s Case Plan with the intent of keeping the child safe, such as screening phone calls, emails or letters between the child and a particular person.

Carers are responsible for supporting the child in their care to practise their religion and spirituality. For example, carers should arrange for kids to attend religious services in their own faith and allow them to participate in religious activities unless their parents expressly request otherwise.

You may provide the child with whatever religious instruction you consider to be appropriate as long as:

• you are not instructing the child or young person in a religion different to their own if their Case Plan goal is to return them home
• their views, including their willingness to receive religious instruction, have been taken into account
• they haven’t been coerced or compelled to participate in any religious instruction, activity or teaching
• they aren’t provided a level of religious instruction that will interfere with plans to return them home, even if you are of the same religion.
• it is part of an approved Case Plan for a child or young person in your long-term care to receive religious instruction in your faith.

Children and young people often don’t disclose abuse or neglect the first time it happens. They may experience a sense of helplessness or hopelessness and take weeks, months or sometimes years before making their abuse known.

Disclosure can be deliberate or accidental. For example, a child or young person might:

• ‘blurt out’ a harmful experience, or their fear of something
• confide privately that they have been abused or fear that they will be abused
• tell another child
• provide hints in drawings, during play or in stories
• disguise a disclosure by posing ‘what if’ or ‘a friend of mine’ scenarios.

What to do if a child discloses past abuse or neglect

If a child or young person discloses information to you about abuse or neglect, listen calmly without judgement. Reassure them they did the right thing by telling you, that you believe them and that you’re there to support them. Don’t make promises you may not be able to keep, for example, that you’ll make sure nobody ever hurts them again. Don’t ask probing questions and be careful not to let them see reactions of shock, disbelief or fear.

Your role is not to interview the child or gather evidence. This is the responsibility of specially trained caseworkers and, if appropriate, police officers. However, you do have an obligation to report the disclosure. As soon as possible, you should:

• write down what the child or young person said or did, using their exact words where possible, and dating the conversation or incident
• record and date your observations about their mood or demeanour
• share the information with your caseworker to assist in the assessment and investigation process.

Where appropriate, let your child know that you have to tell their caseworker. Explain you want to help keep them safe and that it’s the caseworker’s job to do whatever needs to be done to keep them safe. Your child may not be happy about you reporting the disclosure, and they may even oppose it. Keep in mind that it is important for the authorities to take the necessary action to prevent any further harm to the child, their siblings or any other children who come into contact with the person alleged to be responsible.

Keeping a diary or other written notes from the start of a placement saves you having to rely on memory. Examples of events and activities to record include:

• achievements, milestones, happy events, celebrations and friends
• hobbies and interests
• things about the child or young person that make them special such as their smile, sense of humour, talents or general nature
• accidents and injuries, including how they happened and treatment they received
• major and minor illnesses and visits to the doctor
• child or young person’s reactions to various situations, such as contact with family, members of your household, daily routines, school and pets
• damage to property or belongings
• incidents, including what happened in the child or young person’s own words.

These records need to be as clear, accurate and fair as you can make them because they may be used to:

• help the child or young person with their Life Story work
• guide your discussions with your caseworker
• help inform case meetings, reviews or any other further actions
• keep the child or young person’s official file up to date
• assist with health assessments
• provide reliable information to the courts if required
• help a young person who has left care understand their experiences and recognise their achievements if they choose to access their file in the future.

Looking over a diary can help you remember the highs of caring and how you dealt with the lows. It can also help you identify what worked, what didn’t work and any area you may wish to develop through training.