Bullying and racism

If the child or young person in your care is being bullied or they’re displaying bullying behaviour, it needs to be taken seriously. Bullying can take many forms including name-calling, teasing, insults, humiliation, sarcasm, threats, pushing, shoving, kicking, hitting, punching, tripping, spitting, taking or damaging possessions, ignoring, excluding, ganging up, making gestures, spreading rumours, malicious emails, text messages, phone calls, photos and postings on social media.

What to do when the child in your care is being bullied

Victims of bullying are often afraid to talk about it because they’re scared and think that talking will make things worse. Signs of being bullied may include:

• not wanting to go to school and using excuses such as feeling sick
• refusing to go to school
• talking about hating school
• increased fearfulness, anxiety, tearfulness or depression
• missing or damaged belongings, including torn clothing
• unexplained cuts, bruises or scratches
• lack of friends
• not doing well at school
• asking for or stealing money (to hand over to bullies)
• trouble sleeping.

If you suspect your child or young person is being bullied, approach the issue sensitively. Don’t try to make them admit it and avoid using ‘why’ questions. Ask about what’s making them feel this way. Usually they’ll hint about what’s happening without giving specific details. Calmly listen to them and take their feelings seriously. Ask what they’ve tried and offer to help them work out some strategies for dealing with the situation.

It’s important your child knows that telling you was the right thing to do and being bullied is not their fault. Keep a written record of what happened including when, where, who was involved and if anyone else saw it. Work together to come up with some coping strategies, such as taking a different way home, staying with a group or changing their mobile phone number.

If the bullying continues, talk to your child’s teacher and school counsellor about how you can work together to prevent it from happening. If nothing changes, speak to the principal about the school’s anti-bullying plan and how the school intends to respond. Keep in contact with the school until the bullying is sorted out. Talk to your caseworker if this is an ongoing problem or you need extra support.

What to do when the child in your care is bullying others

Children and young people may bully others for a number of different of reasons. They may feel powerful, enjoy getting attention and think it makes them popular with peers. They may believe everyone does it and that it’s acceptable fun. They may do it as a way of getting things they want, such as money or food, or because they feel angry or jealous. Or they may do it to protect themselves from being bullied.

If the child or young person in your care is bullying others at school, tell them clearly this kind of behaviour is not okay. Keep calm and listen to their point of view. Discuss the impact of their behaviour on the person they have bullied. Sit down and explain the consequences of their actions, for example, no computer games for a week. Be aware of, and restrict, activities or situations that may be influencing their behaviour, such as violent video games and movies or being around adults who are modelling bullying behaviour.

Talk to the teacher and school counsellor to find out how you can work with the school to prevent the behaviour. If the bullying continues, talk to your caseworker.