Sexuality and sexual health
As kids grow up, it’s healthy for them to develop a sense of their sexuality, learn how to express affection and have respectful relationships. Sexuality isn’t just about sexual behaviour; it’s about the way your child feels about their body, and their growing ability to have feelings of intimacy, attraction and affection for others.
Sexual activity
Not all teenage relationships involve sex, but this is the age when many young people start to become sexually active.
The age of consent
The age of consent for sex in NSW is 16 years. It is an offence for a child under the age of 16 to have sex, even if the other person is of a similar age. Explain to kids that the age of consent is about ensuring both people involved are emotionally mature, have a strong and confident sense of themselves, and have the capacity to give consent to sexual activity. If you believe the child or young person in your care is sexually active and they are under the age of 16, you must let your caseworker know.
How you can support safe and smart decision-making
For young people over 16 years of age, the decision to have sex is a personal one. They don’t have to seek permission from you to start being sexually active or to use contraception or other forms of protection against sexually transmitted infections or pregnancy.
Solutions to difficult conversations
If the young person in your care asks you for your advice about contraception and you feel uncomfortable talking to them about it, you could suggest they talk to their caseworker, the family doctor or Family Planning NSW.
The young person in your care may or may not want to talk to you about their sexuality or sexual activity. Don’t force the issue. It’s important to respect their feelings and their privacy as well. Keep up the conversation with them through the teenage years, and remember to have some one-on-one time so there are opportunities for talking if that’s what they want. When questions do come up, answer them as well as you can.
Try to get across important messages such as:
- no-one can touch them or engage in any sort of physical or sexual activity without their consent
- they always have the right to say ‘no’, whether it’s about going on a date, leaving a party, ending a relationship or having sex
- sexual activity is not okay when someone feels threatened, pressured or tricked into their decision or when they are clearly incapable of giving their consent (for example, if they are drunk or unconscious)
- if they ever feel vulnerable, uncomfortable or pressured, they should contact you so that you can help.
When sexual activity triggers memories of trauma
Sometimes sexual activity in adolescence is a trigger for memories of past abuse. If you think the child or young person in your care is struggling with traumatic memories, or if they disclose past abuse to you, you must tell your caseworker immediately. Together you can make a plan to provide them with the support they need.