Raising teens
Most young people and their families experience some ups and downs during the early teen years. The child in your care needs you now more than ever, even if it isn’t obvious in the way they behave. The compassion you show and the way you advocate for your teen in these first few years at high school and in their community are hugely important. It helps restore their optimism and pride, and gives them the strength and self-belief they need to think differently about their future.
Staying safe around drugs and alcohol
It is illegal for children to smoke or drink alcohol before the age of 18. The use of illicit drugs, or prescription drugs that haven’t been subscribed by the person’s doctor, is illegal at any age. However, most Australian teenagers have had some experience with alcohol and cigarettes before the age of 17, and many have used or been exposed to illegal drugs.
Drug and alcohol use can have serious short-term and long-term impacts for teens, and can lead to dependency in adulthood. It’s important to encourage a responsible attitude, but also to help teens stay safe. One of the most influential things you can do is to model safe and healthy behaviour that your teen can learn from: drink responsibly, don’t smoke and don’t use illegal drugs.
Keep up communication
Support your teen’s friendships and growing independence, but make sure you still find time to catch up and talk one-on-one. Make sure your child understands your attitude to under-age drinking and drug use, and the boundaries you have set. Try to keep up to date about who your child hangs out with, where they are and what they do when they’re not at home.
Explain the legal age for drinking
Talk to your child about why there is a legal age limit on drinking. Explain that the parts of the brain that look after learning, planning and emotional stability are still developing during the teenage years and that alcohol interrupts that development. Using alcohol in adolescence can lead to memory loss, learning difficulties and mental health issues including anxiety and depression.
Keep it real
Be straight with kids about the scary side of taking drugs, drinking and smoking when they’re under age. Let them know about the health impacts and criminal consequences in an age-appropriate way. Explain that smoking can give you cancer and other diseases; that drinking can make you take risks that might hurt or kill you; and that taking drugs, or even holding them for a friend, can lead to a criminal charge.
Be aware of what drives drug and alcohol use
Kids in care may start using drugs and alcohol to ease the pain of trauma or the symptoms of mental health issues such as depression, or because they have grown up around drug and alcohol use. If your teen is using drugs or alcohol, try to find out more about how they’re feeling. It could be they need professional help to cope with difficult emotions. Let your caseworker know what’s happening so they can connect you with any services you need, and update the Case Plan.
Talk about risk and regret
Drugs and alcohol change the chemical balance of the brain and affect the way a person thinks, feels and makes decisions. Explain to your teen that they might do things under the influence of drugs or alcohol that they wouldn’t do normally; things that are dangerous or that they may regret later. If they’re using drugs or alcohol regularly, they may also find that they start feeling moody, anxious, panicked or unmotivated most of the time.
Explain the dangers of excessive drinking
Explaining the difference between how teens and adults react to alcohol can be helpful. Teach kids that teenagers are less sensitive to the sedative effects of alcohol than adults. That means they’re likely to keep on drinking long after most adults would have called it a night, making it easy for them to drink to excess and put themselves at risk of things like unsafe sex or violence.
Talk about dependency and addiction
Teenagers can become dependent on drugs much more quickly than adults, and drinking in adolescence significantly increases the chance of a person becoming dependent on alcohol later in life. Help the child in your care to understand that their behaviour now puts them at risk of dependency and addiction in the future.
Remain supportive and approachable
If you think your child is using alcohol or drugs, let them know you’re worried about them and that you’re there to listen to them whenever they’re ready to talk. When they do open up to you, listen to what they have to say and try to respond in a non-judgmental way. It’s important you let your caseworker know what’s going on, so they can keep an eye on it, too, and organise support services if that would be helpful. If you have talked to your teenager about their alcohol or drug use and they’re open to getting some support, offer to help them find the right sort of information or services. You could suggest looking for advice online, calling a support service or speaking to a local doctor. Remember that being supportive isn’t the same as approving of your child’s drug or alcohol use.
Keep them safe
If you know your teen is using alcohol or drugs, talk to them about staying safe. Make sure they know:
- never to use drugs or alcohol if they don’t know where they came from or what’s in them
- never use them when they’re alone
- never mix drugs and alcohol.
Remind them that their ability to make good judgments may be affected and they should try not to rush into taking a risk or doing something they wouldn’t normally do. Most importantly, tell them to get in touch with you any time they feel scared or unsafe so you can get them out of that situation.